A Walk On The TwiSide
by FatMouser
Summary: A Twilight/Nightside crossover story told from the viewpoint of Emmett Cullen. Twihards beware! This is sort of anti-Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So I should start off by saying, that if you consider yourself an absolute and complete Twihard who simply can't stand to see anyone bash the characters, then this story is probably not for you as it is extremely anti-Twilight. That being said, this is a Twilight/Nightside crossover. It is told from the view of Emmett Cullen (the only one of the Twilight characters I can stand). A friend of mine, tardis10, is writing a story very similar to this one (we created the idea of Twilight/Nightside together) so if you should go check her out!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer, and all Nightside characters belong to Simon R. Green.

* * *

**Chapter One: Everyone Comes To The Nightside**

The moment we stepped off the train, I figured we were screwed.

"Edward," Bella squealed, clutching to Edward's arm as though it were the only thing keeping her linked to life. "Where are we?" She looked like she was going to faint. It would have been amusing if I had not been feeling kind of the same.

"I don't know," Edward answered as calmly as he could. "But stop panicking, we're going to be fine." He looked pointedly at Jasper who stepped a little closer to Bella. Instantly she looked calmer. I had to force myself to keep from rolling my eyes. I really hated it when they manipulated her like that, as though she were some sort of toy. Of course, I hated her for being stupid enough to let them keep doing it.

"Does anyone know where we are?" Alice asked, her eyes wide and worried. "Are we even still on Earth?"

"Well of course we're still on Earth," Rosalie snapped irritably. "Look, there's the moon right there." She pointed towards the sky. "Just because it's bigger doesn't mean we're not still on Earth… right?" She looked over at Carlisle. We all did.

He did not answer immediately, instead taking his time, rubbing his chin as he thought. "Well, logic tells us that if we can see our moon, then we're still on Earth… though the fact that it is bigger and… fuller than it was when we entered the Tube system is certainly worrying."

I groaned. "Great," I said, shoving my hands in my coat pockets. "I told you getting on that train with no windows was a bad idea."

Edward glared at me. I shrugged in return. Hey, getting on the train had been his stupid idea. He had been having a lot of those since meeting Bella. I mean, sure she smelled like strawberries, but so did a lot of inexpensive, inanimate shampoos. Why couldn't he have fallen in love with any of those?

"I think we need to get out of the street," Alice said, inching closer the group.

"I agree," Jasper said calmly, as unflappable as always. "I think we may be drawing attention to ourselves."

He was not wrong. The people (I used the word lightly) on the street were giving us weird looks as they passed. Of course, in my opinion, they weren't really the ones who should be staring. The people who were on the sidewalk were not at all the sort of people I was used to seeing. In fact, I wasn't entirely sure all of them were people. There were things on the street, and though they had two arms and legs, they didn't all seem to be human. There were grotesque creatures moving in and among the people, and the people weren't entirely normal either. They all had an air about them that I had never sensed before. There was something desperate in the crowd, as though these people had nothing and everything to lose and didn't care what happened as long as they had a good time doing it. It was eerie.

"Let's go," Carlisle said, starting to move the group forward, going with the crowd in… I wasn't even sure what direction.

"We need to have a destination," Edward said, a little unnecessarily. "We need to know where we're going."

"Well no, duh," I said, also unnecessarily.

Carlisle sighed. "I know, boys, I know," he said, playing the harassed father role he was so good at. "We need to figure out where we're going before--"

"Before what?" Bella's shrill voice interrupted. On cue, Jasper moved in closer to her.

"Before something bad happens," Carlisle finished quietly.

"What do you think could happen?" Esme asked, speaking for the first time since we'd arrived.

"Well, I get the feeling normal rules don't apply to this place," Carlisle answered, scooting out of the way to allow more room for a rather large horned creature to pass.

I was about to reply, but Alice beat me too it.

"Behind us!" she gasped, and as one, we whirled around.

In retrospect, I think the only reason we didn't smell him before we saw him was that we were already so overwhelmed. Otherwise, the stench would have been a dead giveaway.

The guy was tall, my height, but the filthy coat he wore made him look smaller. He looked like he hadn't washed in years, and smelled like it too, yet there was something more to him than your average hobo. He commanded respect even before he spoke. Which was a good thing, because otherwise Edward probably would have kicked the crap out of him for making Bella scream in terror.

"I don't mean to alarm you," the man said, his voice much kinder than I had expected it to be. "But I think I can help."

Ever the valiant leader, Carlisle stepped forward, smiling neutrally at the man. "Can you? That's very kind of you, but if you don't mind my asking, how do you know we need help, and why are you so willing to help us?"

The man smiled. "I don't mind your questions. Being cautious will keep you alive here. I know you need help because you don't fit in. You're panicked. I choose to help because that is my personal redemption. You need John Taylor." His abrupt change of subject caught us all off guard. Edward was the first to recover.

"John Taylor, who is that?"

Honestly, just because the kid was 107-years-old he thought he was in command around here. Sometimes I wanted to hurt him.

"John Taylor helps the hopeless," the stranger answered. "He'll take time out of his day to help you."

"You think so?" Alice asked, her wide eyes bright and hopeful. "Where can we find him?"

"There's a bar here called Strangefellows. It's the oldest bar in the world, you can find him there."

"A bar?" Esme asked skeptically. "I don't know," she continued, catching all of our eyes. We all leaned in a little, speaking so quietly that Bella couldn't hear, and neither could the stranger. "Do we really want to take advice from a stranger?" Esme asked nervously. "In a strange place? I mean, he's sending us to a bar."

"What choice do we have?" I asked, speaking quickly before someone else cut in. Like that, it was decided. I turned away to speak to the man, but he was gone. I furrowed my brows in confusion. "What the hell?"

Carlisle sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think we're going to be dealing with a lot of that around here. Edward, can you see if you can figure out how to get to this bar, to this…"

"Strangefellows?" Jasper prompted.

"Yes," Carlisle said, giving Jasper a thankful glance. "Strangefellows, exactly."

Edward nodded. "Yes, of course I can." He stood still then, closing his eyes. For a moment, his brows furrowed and he looked confused. Then he screamed in pain. He doubled over, his hands clutching at his head.

Bella shrieked and fell to her knees, clutching at Edward's elbow.

"Edward!" she squealed frantically, "Edward, what is it? Oh Edward! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Edward answered, breathing heavily but sitting up. "It's just… there was nothing and then… there… was pain, terrible pain. Carlisle, I don't think I can read minds here…"

Bella frowned, almost pouting. "I thought that only worked with me," she said, sounding a little disappointed.

Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what it is about this place."

"It's okay, Edward," Bella replied, helping him to his feet. "It's not your fault."

Carlisle was frowning, looking more worried than I'd seen him in ages. "I don't alike this, this place is no good."

"Perhaps we should just try finding our way out ourselves," Rosalie suggested. "Honestly, how hard could it be to find the entrance to the subway?"

"I don't think we should risk getting back on that train," Edward said sharply, earning himself a glare from Rosalie.

"What? Just because Bella didn't like it? We can't put us all in danger just because your girlfriend got a little claustrophobic."

"Now, now, children," Carlisle began tentatively, but he was cut off by Edward.

"Don't be a fool, Rosalie," he said coolly. "What happens if the train takes us someplace more foreign than this, what then?"

"Well I'm sure we could keep riding it until we came to our desired destination!"

I sighed heavily, looking down at my shoes. This arguing would get us no where. We really needed to focus. I looked up at the sky, tuning out the argument. It really was a pretty moon. At least a dozen times bigger than I was used to, but amazingly beautiful. Suddenly something occurred to me. I looked down from the sky and to my left down the mouth of the alley we were standing at… though I couldn't remember it being there. Near the end of the alley was a glowing neon light that spelled something in an incredibly beautiful script. Or maybe it was just a pretty design. I didn't know. Either way, something told me to alert Carlisle to it.

"Hey," I said, breaking up the argument that now involved everyone except Jasper and Bella. "Hey, what's that sign say?"

Well, that got their attention. I really hated it when they all looked at me like they couldn't quite figure out why I was there with them.

"Emmett," Edward said, using the voice he used when he thought I was doing something stupid. "Emmett, I believe you know how to read English, yes?"

"Don't be mean to Emmett," Rosalie snapped, pressing herself protectively against me, which I rather enjoyed.

"Yeah, Edward, don't be mean to me," I said, earning myself an eye roll. I ignored it, though, looking back over at Carlisle. "So, seriously, what's that sign say?"

Carlisle frowned, looking mildly surprised at not having noticed the alley before. He studied the sign for a moment before speaking again. "Well, I'm not an expert, but I believe that sign is in Sanskrit?"

"What's that?" Bella asked a little dreamily. Jasper was standing next to her again.

"Sanskrit is an old language," Alice said in a rather know-it-all tone.

Carlisle nodded. "That's right, and if _I'm_ right that sign says, well… Strangefellows."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Cullens Go To Strangefellows**

"GETTHEFUCKOUT!"

The music in the bar was incredibly loud smash metal, so I had some real respect for the skinny white guy who yelled so loud we heard him before even getting down the stairs and into the bar proper.

It was a rather dingy bar, dimly lit and clearly not often cleaned. I liked it, but I think I was the only one. Carlisle and Esme both had that disapproving parent look on their faces, Alice and Jasper both looked uncomfortable and out of place. Rosalie was scowling unhappily. Bella looked like she was only barely holding it together which in turn made Edward so protective he looked a little constipated. The bar's patrons didn't help either. If anyone had thought that this bar would hold people that were less strange than the ones we had seen on the street, they were wrong. The people crowding the bar and tables were as bizarre as the people outside. At one table, there were a few grunge rockers with horns protruding from their heads and long green tongues which they used to lick at their drinks. At another table there were some incredibly sensual woman with snakes where there hair should be. And these were some of the more normal creatures in the building.

So with this sudden onslaught of stress, it was almost understandable that the shout--which had clearly been meant for us--made Bella faint.

I rolled my eyes as she went down, Edward following after her, and Alice after him. Together, they managed to rouse her. As soon as her eyes fluttered open, Edward engulfed her in his arms, burying her face in his chest, whispering nauseatingly cute things in her ear.

Meanwhile, the seriously angry-looking man in the little black beret was coming over.

"I don't care what sort of stunts you pull," the man said upon reaching us, clearly talking about Bella's fainting spell, "but I want you out, you hear me? Gone! Vamoose!"

Edward stood and looked up at the man with a scowl on his face. "Why?" he snarled.

The man in the beret glared and took a step towards us.

Hastily I stepped forward. "I think Edward meant: 'why do you want us to leave because we've only just entered and haven't done anything to you yet'," I said quickly, attempting to defuse the tension.

I guess it worked because the man in the beret did not try to throttle any of us. "I won't have your kind in my bar, not after what happened last time."

We fell silent, exchanging glances. He could not possibly know what we were. We had only just arrived. How could he know?

Carlisle was the first to speak. "You know what we are?" Though, while everyone else looked horrified that we had been discovered, he looked more intrigued. "How can you tell?"

The man in the beret snorted. "Hilarious, really. I'm going to have to make you leave, aren't I?" He raised his voice. "Betty! Lucy!"

Though I was not sure where they had come from, I was pretty sure that they were there, and that we might not be able to take them in a fight. The two women were huge. Larger than me, which was saying something, and though they didn't look all that smart, they did look like would have no problems ripping us each new ones.

The man smirked. "Now, are we going to do this the easy way, or the hard way? I don't care which, so long as you get out."

"You can't threaten us!" Edward snarled, barring his teeth.

"Um, Ed," I glanced up at the two women who were happily cracking their knuckles, "I'm pretty sure he can."

The tension in the air was almost tangible. The two women were clearly aching for a fight and Edward was ready to give it to them. I was ready to run like hell and everyone else was pretty much confused, but clearly upset. Not to mention Bella was on the verge of sobbing. In a nutshell, it was bad, and I could just tell that things were about to get worse. In a way, I was right.

"What is going on here?"

As one, we all craned our heads to look behind us. Another man stood there. He was tall and dressed in a white trench coat that looked like it had been through hell.

"Alex," White Trench Coat continued, addressing the man in the beret, "what the hell is going on? I come in for a drink and find the door blocked? I'm not in the mood for this, Alex."

The man who was called Alex scowled and crossed his arms. "I'm sorry, Taylor, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a little busy, and I can't plan my entire day around you."

"Could you try?"

"Damn it, John!"

"Hey, sorry, could you just let me through."

Alex groaned. "Fine," he growled reluctantly. Then he looked back at us. "You lot move aside, you're keeping the business from coming through."

I moved a bit closer to the wall, but I think I was the only one who did. Carlisle moved closer to the guy in the white trench coat, who was either Taylor or John… oh.

"Excuse me," Carlisle said quickly, "but is your name John Taylor?"

The man, who I assumed was John Taylor, raised an eyebrow. "Maybe. Who's asking?"

"I'm Carlisle Cullen, and this is my family," Carlisle said, gesturing towards us. "And if you are John Taylor, I think we need your help."

"Don't listen to them, Taylor, they're just trying to keep me from evicting them," Alex snarled from the bottom of the stairway.

"Why do you want them evicted?" John asked. "It looks to me like they haven't even gotten down the stairs."

"That's what we said," I mumbled, quiet enough so no one else heard.

"Can't you see what they are?" Alex retorted. "C'mon, Taylor, even you're not that stupid."

John Taylor shrugged. "I really wouldn't care if they were over-grown banana slugs if they were paying customers."

"Pay?" Carlisle repeated, speaking before Alex had a chance to say anything. "I wasn't aware that we had to pay you."

That made John Taylor stop. He frowned and scowled at us. "Oh? And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Well, the man we talked to didn't mention anything about paying, he just said you would help us," Carlisle answered, and though he looked like he was holding his own, I could tell he was wavering. The stress was starting to get to him, and he was not a young man anymore.

John Taylor sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Did this man approach you in the street, and was he creepy and smelly as hell?"

"That's kind of why he was creepy," I said with a smile.

Surprisingly, he smiled back. "Yeah, Eddie has that affect on people. Alex," he looked down at the man in the beret, "can you call your girls off and let us in for a drink?"

Alex shook his head. "No, Taylor, I won't have that sort of violence in my bar. I just had these floors cleaned?"

Rosalie snorted. "Really?" It was the first thing she had said since we had entered the bar.

Alex scowled at her. "Look, Missy, if you think you could do it better, you can get down on the floor and start scrubbing."

"Alright," John said quickly, taking a step down the stairs, effectively quelling the rising argument. "That's okay, Alex, I'll just take them back to my office. Could you call Cathy and tell her we're coming?"


End file.
